there is a zoo right smack dab in the middle of campus, right between the old ass geezer library and the caffeine shop. its gets more traffic in the first two weeks of may than most other days of the year. if it was a website, itd be like yahoo or cnn or something like that. a place that we in the industry like to call a high traffic area. hell, some kids even spend the night, sometimes two or three in a row, just cuz they think itll make them smarter, and when its all said and done, theyre none the worse for wear.

i usually just go to study. the park benches are covered with plush green leather, like some kinda irish tavern honeymoon suite on st pattys day. they blend in real well with the surrounding foliage. trees and bushes and shrubs and such line all the walkways. from the benches you get to see all kinds of wildlife. its easy to see how somebody whos supposed to be working dilligently away at some sort of arbitrarily assigned paper busywork could get distracted. theres a great deal to the scenery here, like the rare brunette giraffe slowly stalking the plains, or the herds of ba-donkeys drinking from the water fountains. if youre not paying attention, you could get caught up.

the strangest thing about the zoo is that its almost completely quiet. you would think that any place where college kids gather at 2 am would be the rowdiest place on earth, but the zoo is not that kind of place. no, no, kids here are way too concerned with whats going on in their own little worlds to give a vocal damn about anyone else's boredom. they just stare at their pages and listen to their music, all while letting the richness of the wildlife go to waste.

if my club owner friend came up in here, hed go nuts and pull his own hair out. why isnt there a bar in here?! all these people need BOOZE and they need it now! he would shout. then the nightcop, being the bad mammajamma that he is, would ask to see our student id's and kindly ask us to leave. for a guy whos in charge of 'security,' hes damn child molester-ish on the grand scale of creepiness. reads graphic novels and drinks coke for seven hours a night. kids, let this be a lesson, if you dont go to college, this will be you. in this place of nocturnal loniless where theres no rest for the weary...

and right then, another giraffe passes by. and then her friend. and then another.

oh, right, thats why i keep coming back.