so im sitting in front of my tv, watching monday night football, and i cant help but to think that the nice little juke jerious norwood put on some defender looked a lot like this girl i met in las vegas last weekend who likes to dance. a cute blonde thing, wearing a dress shinier than kanye's jesus piece, she drank cristal like it was her job. depending on who you ask, it actually is her job, which explains why she was two bottles ahead.

its cheaper than jaeger, she says.

ive got scotch, but i like jaeger too i say. how much does jaeger run.

she laughs. if you have to ask, stick to the scotch.

she dances by herself. her favorite spot is in front of a glass railing, which separates a raised vip balcony-type deal from the lay people on the dance floor below. all those people in the picture arent really trying to take pictures of her, theyre trying to time the air vents just right and steal a look through the glass up her dress. now those pics might make it onto a site like tmz or smoking gun or people magazine even, but that doesnt mean they amount to much. how much good are panties when theyre still on the girl? what really matters is not whats between her legs, but whats between her ears.

you know, like her hopes and aspirations.

shes five bottles deep and sharing now. she tells me about her upcoming trip to rwanda and how shes so excited and has to pack and needs some good music to listen to on the flight over. i laugh so hard a little fizz comes out of my nose.

why is that funny, she says.

i have a hard time imagining you amongst the people of rwanda. i say

well i am going, she says. why dont you believe me?

i turn and look at her with a grin.

because lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, i say.

but its more fun she does.

shes smiles, really big like little girls do when you ask them how old they are.

i like to have fun, she says.