on friday afternoon somewhere in the midst of four forty five and five oh clock, i roll the windows down and blast guns and fucking roses on the drive home from work. its loud as shit, and all the little soccer moms and vice ceo's in their nazi sleds give me funny looks every time i pass in the right lane doing just a little over double the speed limit. they squint and crane around tan leather flip down sun visors, but all i see through dark tinted shades is an open road and a couple days off. ive never been scared of looking at the sun, but when youre behind the wheel its necessary to focus on whats important. this car is five and a half years of paper bags and clean ups on aisle six. the apartment to which i am driving home is eighty hours of making moves wearing a headset and a smile. this suit doesnt belong to me, it has some italian guys name on the inside. all i can do to promise i will try not to spill beer on it tonight.

somewhere in between west tyvola and fairview i come to the realization that this is my life, and that ive earned every inch of it. ive worked my ass off just for this day, this single, sweaty, end of summer night and million more coming up just beyond the sunset. worked, just for this cush job, for this cush city, for these cush ladies and for this cush money. i walk into places and say things like keep the change and gimme that on the wall without a second thought anymore. imagine me doing that two years ago and you might hurt your brain.

if that doesnt work, try to figure out why your girlfriend is getting in a cab with me. oh i think they like me, better yet i know. its lights camera action when i walk though the door. hell, even the girl who cuts my hair cant keep her hands off me. lets just say that she cuts my hair for free now. on the side, if you will.

somewhere in between when we were younger and where we are now, you wonder how things would turn out, how the real world would be, how living life would actually feel. now i never slang crack rock or had a wicked jump shot but this, this, i have to say, feels pretty damn good.