its almost a sure thing that any blogger who keeps their identity hidden at some point becomes an international man of mystery. as we know from our austin powers movies, this status is a good thing. getting liz hurley and heather graham naked in consecutive films requires said international man of mystery status (but not for beyonce, though. she was a step down). for example, i told the bouncer at a very trendy nightclub recently that my name was on his guest list, just look for middle name danger. he laughed and took down the rope for my blonde and i without so much as a second glance.

like i said, a very good thing, indeed.

there are few requirements for attaining the level of international man of mystery status. one must be international. one must have mystery follow you around like a lost puppy. and one must be a man. now, the perks resultant of these simple but profound requirements are various and sundry.

this is a good thing about being global and being mysterious. the bad things would be maintaining these two aspects of the blogger life. being international means bringing the fans back again and again with stories of dangerous superhero missions in foreign lands. being mysterious means bringing in new fans with stories of bedding hot babes around the world.

my, what a quandary.

and for a while at least, this quandary was what i went to bed thinking, what i awoke thinking, hell sometimes even what i pondered while checking out girls asses at the mall. and then the realization hit me that, due to some major changes in my blogging form and fashion, my identity may not be so hidden much longer. consider the following:

- i have published actual photographs of my real face

- i have published actual photographs of women i have really slept with

these facts are cause for concern. surely, the real life me would be recognized by some other real life person reading this blog. surely that real life person would tell other real life people. or, alternately, someone would recognize a woman i have slept with. and with how the world tends to work, that someone would just happen to be someone i am currently sleeping with.

to put it lightly, that never goes over very well.

however, even with the above two facts, the status of 'international man of mystery' might still be within reach. basement dwellers and star wars geeks must have some model to aspire to, and all those drunk and hot girls that kanye west sings about must have a visualization of who they will be gold-digging on.

so even though i have uncovered my face to the world, this international man of mystery will still travel the world, fight crime and always, always get the gorgeous girl.

yeah baby.