i got two phone numbers tonight and it was easy. let me tell you dudes out there who are having a hard time with this concept: its easy its easy its easy. whenever a man has the luxury of going out in chapel hill, getting a girls phone number should never be something to fear. the stakes and the odds and the situations are all primed and tilted in you favor, so take advantage cuz youll never have these days again.

should you do it just cuz i say so? no, you should do it cuz you will regret it dearly if you dont.

one of them works at my secret spot at which i get all my fly gear. shes always super nice and is sure to come show me some of the new tees whenever i come by. she knows what size i wear and what colors i usually wear and which ones will go with the mad max jacket and stuff like that, but her paycheck depends on it so its acceptable. ill often humor her when she brings some shit thats not worthy of being on my body by saysing "yeah, thats ok, not my steez thou hun." she usually smiles and runs along, leaving me to shop as i please. shes cute, thats why i even bother to give her the time of day. her boss is a friend of mine, so by association shes a, um, 'friend' too.

the other one used to play volleyball in her bikini in front of my dorm freshman year. her friend was dating a friend of one of my friends so you know we had a bunch of those ive met you before but dont hang out with you enough to remember your name moments. but tonight, tonight was different. i was walking around in a bar, on my way out to leave when she tried to smack me in the face. shell deny it to her dying day, but she did, and the only reason that she did was because she wanted to talk to me and couldnt think of any other way to flag down a constantly moving, wildy unpredictable, highly experimental stud like myself. we got to chatting and touching and flirting a bit until her mother hen friend started literally looking over her shoulder like a mean teacher during finals. in case you couldnt tell, her friend totally killed the mood. she was obviously mad at mother hen for doing so, so when she batted her eyes and asked me if i would be out the next night, i responded with a cool "if youre lucky," and politely asked her for her number so that, if shes lucky, she would find out. she gave me a smile and wink and typed into my phone.

at this point, troops, your exit strategy is easy. click, turn, walk away.

i only remember one of their names and to tell you the truth, one of the friends of one of these ladies was way hotter and way more interesting to talk to than the on whos number i actually got. but thats the beauty of the thing. for when you are not actually interested in a female, but you are in her friend, that process is called networking. by building relationships with friends of people we want to know, we move up the social ladder simply by association. and this upward mobility is a great goal, because of the wonderful things you can achieve through it, and how really really easy it actually is to accomplish.

click.

turn.

walk away.