miami trip, day two: day two started off much better than day one. the last cab ride for the week lasted a whole twelve point six five minutes. the distance between miami international airport and the orange bowl does not take that long to drive, mind you, but the state of florida decided to start construction on some roadways surrounding the airport a few months back. big ups in traffic delays, not big ups in actually getting shit done. to this day, there are piles of dirt and concrete waiting on the side of the onramps, chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool. awesome.

the cab let me out at the n2 lot on seventh street northwest, the swanky lot were the old tanned rich miami folk park for the football games. i took two steps out of the car and started dripping. wasnt sure if it was sweat or my skin actually melting off my bones but one things for sure; miami is fucking hot, the kind of hot that could liquify a newspaper out in the street down to a woody pulpy black inky mess.

its a good thing i brough two carolina tshirts but damn, coulda used some sunglasses. not that they would shield mine eyes from the horrendous performance the tar heels pucked up at the orange bowl that day. the offensive line was almost as rickety and roughshod as the orange bowl itself, with is rusty creaky seafoam green support beams and the afghan taliban cave access tunnels. the whole time i stood in the stands i just wondered how such a football institution like da u could possibly play at such a decrepit excuse for a stadium. kenan may not have seen as many wins or as many great players, but at least the student body didnt fear for their lives when walking up the steps. and we didnt have hideous forest green and neon orange as our colors.

the only good thing that came out of representing the tar heels at the orange bowl were the introductions. mobert the tourist was gonna have a good time tonight, and we all know that good times start with introductions. some of them went like this.

gdot says: yo mobert. this is sloan. sloan, mobert.

mobert says: hi sloan. its a pleasure.

sloan says: same here mobert. you ready to party tonight?

mobert says: thats why im here.

needless to say, this is a good question to be asked when you first meet someone.

gdot says: hey tori. this is mobert, that guy ive been telling you about. mobert, tori.

tori says: hi mobert. you look really familiar, dont i know you from somewhere?

mobert says: no, but i get that all the time.

probably the easiest line in the book, but both gdot and tori cracked up when i dropped that gem. mobert goes two for two on introductions. things are shaping up for tonight.

the cool part of miami is that its really flat. the biggest hill i walked up all day was from the low tide on south beach. the roads are straight and fast and people drive crazy so you get where youre going. the other cool thing is that, for such a huge city with so much stuff packed into it, its not cramped and its definitely not urban. you walk down the side of the street in miami beach, and on one side theres the beach, and on the other side is a sidewalk. the sidewalk basically walks through the back porches of all the hotels and restaurants and bars that run endless along the street. you see the miami style in the architecture too. everywhere you go its art deco hotel here, pastel stucco million dollar house there. the landscape here is so different from anything anywhere that when you see a guy doing laps around the versace mansion in a white lamborghini, you dont even blink.

gdot's crib is right near sunset place, an outdoor/indoor strip mall hangout sort of place. it was where the high school kids hung out after dark, and where the kids arcade and adults sports bar were the same place. not anything nearly the ritzyness of bal harbour or anything like that, but serviceable places of businesses nonetheless. the three of us, gdot, mike and myself went to a place called town kitchen and bar for dinner. looked like a hot spot on the inside, but the service was horrendous. didnt get waited on for like thirty minutes. food was the bomb diggity, but lets just say the guy didnt get a very big tip.

after dinner went something like this: drink, call girls, repeat.

the cab ride from south miami to south beach is half the fun of going out. you get on the causeway right near downtown, where the heat play and the big buildings are. the causeway stretches over the water, where youve got star island on one side, and the bay on the other side. theres a spectacular view of downtown just past the bay, and you can sometimes see the huge ass cruise ships in the water. youre almost sad that the ride is over when you finally get to south beach but not really cuz you in south beach. let the party begin.

now between the mojitos and various other liquors, the details are a little fuzzy, but the following events took place somtime between twelve am and four am:

- walked down collins ave along with thousands of other people.
- saw the hotel from scarface.
- did not get carded.
- anywhere.
- reminisce with tori about high school.
- walk faster than everyone else.
- walk across oncoming traffic and not give a fuck.
- saw expensive cars and scoffed.
- walked into a hotel bar
- saw a girl my sisters age making out with a guy my fathers age.
- be amazed by the ridiculousness of said hotel.
- get to the outdoor bar in the backyard and be even more amazed.
- take shots.
- take more shots.
- lie down in one of the beds (yes, beds) and pass out.
- sit in a bungalow and wait for bottle service.
- close out a $60 tab.
- twice.
- go across the street and walk on the beach.
- chill out on the beach at three am.
- watch and laugh while sloan's friend goes in the water.
- fully clothed.
- go to a late night cuban restaurant where the waiters dont even speak english and order a grilled cheese sandwich.
- be drunk and tired on the ride home.
- pass out and wait for day three.

day two ending sometime around five am. its seems like day three had a big performance to follow. in a few hours, we'd find out.

miami trip, day one: so my four day trip to miami started off without a hitch. and by without a hitch, i mean waiting for a cab to the airport for an hour and a half and missing my flight. as i pulled up to the terminal, im pretty sure i saw the actual plane i was supposed to be on taking off from the airport into the late evening sky.

awesome. just fucking awesome.

oh wait, it gets better. you dont go through the self check-in at the counter when youve missed your flight, so i got to stand in line and wait to speak to a human being. our conversation went a little something like this.

no theres not a later flight

yes, we understand that cab drivers are jackasses, but theres nothing we can do about that.

the next flight takes off tomorrow morning twenty minutes before kickoff.

so at this point, i am extremely incensed as to my situation, to the extent that every single little thing about existence irritates me. the next thirty minutes or so went like this.

jeezus, how can it be cold enough to need a jacket. dammit now i cant even go out and get drunk tonight. holy crap, this is the most unnecessary cab ride ever.

back at my apartment after the second shitty cab tip of the day, i played some xbox and slept in my clothes, in anticipation of the real miami trip, day one, which would come much later than i thought.